Dedicated to movie nerdom, nostalgia, and escape. In the late 90s, I worked at Blockbuster Video where they let me take home two free movies a day. I caught up on the classics and reviewed theatrical releases for Denver 'burbs newspapers and magazines. Today, while raising two young, beautiful daughters with my amazing wife, I look forward to anything rated R and not Bluey. Comments and dialogue encouraged!
I’m late to the party with this one, but in hindsight, staying home would’ve been the better choice. Longlegs offers little beyond a thin plot: a young, inexperienced female FBI agent—clearly echoing Silence of the Lambs—is on the trail of a bizarre serial killer. That’s the whole premise. If you took every horror gimmick imaginable—serial killers, possessed... Continue Reading →
More a charming nod to nostalgia than an outright comedy, and more horror than spoof, Arachnophobia still manages to sink its fangs into enough entertainment value to work 35 years later. Gosh. Thirty-five years. I first saw this mild screamer at the now-gone Southbridge 8 Theatres in Littleton, Colorado—the same year I saw Edward Scissorhands. Those were innocent... Continue Reading →
To fully appreciate the found footage trope and the intrigue of media fakery, Ghostwatch is essential viewing. There’s a charming innocence to its “live TV special” premise, set in a claustrophobic, purple-carpeted British flat and driven by sincere performances that help sell the illusion. Michael Parkinson deserves particular praise for portraying a convincing host whose... Continue Reading →
Mom was visiting her sisters on the east coast, my best friend, Nick, stayed the night, and Dad let us rent any horror flick we wanted. Of course, we chose A Nightmare on Elm Street. It was 1988. We were fourth graders, and we had imaginations. The Freddy Krueger franchise had already begun in 1984,... Continue Reading →
One of the main characters is a dilapidated blue Pontiac Bonneville. Origin/Director: USA, Jeremy Saulnier Viewings Tally: Only one time, and I want to see it again immediately. I know, I know—this is technically not a horror movie. However, out of all the movies I've seen this October, this one caused my blood pressure to... Continue Reading →
Origin/Director: France, Germany/Andrzej Żuławski Viewings Tally: Only one time, and I think that's all I need, thank you very much. Synopsis: A young woman left her family for an unspecified reason. The husband determines to find out the truth and starts following his wife. At first, he suspects that a man is involved. But gradually,... Continue Reading →
Origin/Director: USA/Scott Derrickson Viewings Tally: 2 times. I first saw this when theatres started opening post COVID. Synopsis: Finney Blake, a shy but clever 13-year-old boy, is abducted by a sadistic killer and trapped in a soundproof basement where screaming is of little use. When a disconnected phone on the wall begins to ring, Finney... Continue Reading →
It's time to get the horror movies going! My school is on fall break, so I'm excited to catch up on some spooky flick viewing. Be sure to let me know if you've seen any of the upcoming movies I will present throughout October! Origin/Director: Canada/Vincenzo Natali Viewings Tally: Shout-out to Max at PowerPop for... Continue Reading →
Before the corniness of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, teeny-boppers of Twilight, The Lost Boys of the ‘80s, sexy interviews with Tom and Brad, and the cliché of Dracula himself, there was an insufferable, disease-bearing beast that crept through the dark forests of the Carpathian Mountains. The Romanians of the late 19th century called him Nosferatu,... Continue Reading →
Not the original, mind you. I always thought the mother culprit twist at the end was anticlimactic and cheap. I preferred my “bad guy” to be Jason Voorhees, and Part 2 had Jason (impossibly but movie-plausibly) hiding out in the woods, wearing a burlap sack over his gross, deformed face. The hockey mask didn’t come... Continue Reading →
Until its “ah-ha” moment at the end, Jordan Peele’s Get Out (2017) was a unique blend of almost satire, almost horror, and almost socioracial statement. Staying at almost would have kept it above standard, but there’s no denying the ending was a predictable horror movie cliché. Peele’s second round with Us (2019) also started strong... Continue Reading →
It all starts with this leaf. For me, this fallen amber-hued leaf represents the promise of the upcoming autumn season, which is undoubtedly my favorite season of the year. Radiant colors begin appearing on trees and end up on the ground to a crackling sound that brings you back to younger days. This is the... Continue Reading →
Reely Bernie 