Reely Bernie Faves: Halfway Point and More Lists!

25 down, 25 to go.

It has been an absolute joy reflecting on the formulative movies of my life and the people I saw them with. To be honest, I have found it impossible to keep my list from evolving as I gradually release it one movie at a time. There are just too many beloveds, and they simply cannot fit into my project of 50. So, before I publish my final Top 25 Reely Bernie Faves, I will list a few of the movies that couldn’t make it on but were held high in consideration. (I think it’s also important to include some titles that wasted hours of my life.)

I imagine my family’s and friends’ lists. I know my dad’s would include It’s a Wonderful Life (1947), Cool Hand Luke (1967), and Dirty Harry (1971). My Mom’s would include The Birdcage (1996) and, of course, The Way We Were (1973). My middle brother would probably mention Mr. Destiny (1990), while my youngest brother would side with Twin Peaks (1990). My best friend, Preston, would uphold Ghostbusters (1984), and my other best friend, Nick, probably still has a Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) sleeping disorder.

My students continue to praise anything Marvel Cinematic Universe while I find a bucket to regurgitate in, but at least they still appreciate The Sound of Music (1965) and correlate Dario Marianelli’s brilliant score to Jane Austen’s prose in Pride & Prejudice (2005).

Really, all of these movies are good. They are all endearing favorites that come with a free memory attached. Please enjoy my other lists/memories below before I release my Top 25:

Honorable Mentions

Aliens (1986)

The Babadook (2014) participated in what seems to be a new trend in haunting the viewer from under the bed with both a tangible creature and an imperceptible metaphor for grief. The faint line between what is real and what is symbolic is just as terrifying as the final reveal.

Children of Men (2007) Director Alfonso Cuarón is a visionary, and this is a remarkable example of how film can (sometimes) supersede the imagination of writing.

Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989) This is a tough one for me. I can’t deny I watched and absolutely adored every single Woody Allen film when I worked at Blockbuster Video in the late 90s. As a neurotic, hopeless romantic myself, I couldn’t help but relate to Woody’s one-liners, alter ego, and ability to end up dumped (or dead) by the time the Windsor typeface credits rolled at the 90-minute point.

Woody Allen was my panic attacks personified on the screen, and it helped to laugh at the psychosis with someone who understood underdogs and failed relationships. (“A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward, or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”)

Even guilt could be scrutinized by Woody’s dark comedy, symbolism, and soliloquies, and I found his Crimes and Misdemeanors to be his most sophisticated, charming, and eerily foretelling. (“People carry awful deeds around. What do you expect him to do, turn himself in? This is reality. In reality, we rationalize, we deny, or we couldn’t go on living.“)

I have read Mia Farrow’s autobiography, and I have seen enough in Allen v. Farrow (2021) to know that where there’s smoke, there’s fire, and the allegations against Woody Allen are enough to burn down a video store. Although his works provided me nervous empathy in my late twenties, I cannot condone Woody’s actions off-screen. I consider him one of my first subjects of healthy dialogue and clear conscious cancellation. My memories are held dear, and I move on.

Double Indemnity (1944)

Ghostbusters (1984) The most quoted dialogue in my household growing up:

Male Student: [Annoyed] I’m getting a little tired of this.

Dr. Peter Venkman: You volunteered, didn’t you? We’re paying you, aren’t we?

Male Student: Yeah, but I didn’t know you were gonna be giving me electric shocks. What are trying to prove here, anyway?

Dr. Peter Venkman: I’m studying the effect on negative reinforcement on ESP ability.

Male Student: [Aggravated] The effect?! I’ll tell you what the effect is—it’s pissing me off!

Dr. Peter Venkman: Well, then maybe my theory is correct!

Male Student: You can keep the five bucks!

Dr. Peter Venkman: I will, mister!

E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

Felicia’s Journey (1999) The oddest, most Lynchian, industrially meticulous character study of a master chef serial killer ever put on film (and probably the only one). The tall, skeletal Nechell Windsor Street gasometers stalk and dominate our little Irish victim, Felicia, just as a brilliant Bob Hoskins controls her every move. This one stays with you days, months, and years after its first viewing.

Memento (2000) Before Christopher Nolan exploited his own timescape manipulation formulas, this one came first, and it absolutely floored audiences who enjoyed it backwards and spliced forwards. I still believe there is enough ambiguity to not reach a firm conclusion, and I’m very good with that.

One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

Never Agains

Excruciatingly depressing and/or deplorably disturbing movies I would never see again if my life depended on it. These left a scar, there’s a reason we have Disney, and their mentioning deserves no explanation:

187 (1997)

Antichrist (2009)

Audition (1999)

Begotten (1990)

Blue Valentine (2010)

Irréversible (2002)

Trainwreck: Woodstock ’99 (2022)

Tusk (2014)

We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)

Wolf Creek (2005)

My Favorite Documentaries

American Movie (1999)

Burden of Dreams (1982) and Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker’s Apocalypse (1991): Documented hell on earth for two of my favorite directors: Werner Herzog and Francis Ford Coppola. Directing is sacrificing.

Ken Burns Documentaries: Baseball (1994) and Jazz (2001) “There are only three things that America will be remembered for two thousand years from now when they study this civilization: The Constitution, Jazz music, and Baseball.” (Essayist, Gerald Early)

It Might Get Loud (2008) Put three of the world’s legendary rock guitarists in a room and watch them talk music, but more importantly—jam! Jimmy Paige, The Edge, and Jack White couldn’t play the guitar any differently, but they share an adoration for rock music that aces the ear and eye test.

Anything Lance Armstrong:

Truth be told, Lance remains my favorite living polemic subject to follow. I have seen The Armstrong Lie (2013) and Stop at Nothing: The Lance Armstrong Story (2014), and both still exude a fresh perspective of shock, accusation, and betrayal. Yet, it is ESPN’s Lance (2020) that portrays hubris in human form, unscathed by regret. It is a fascinating shame.

My Kid Could Paint That (2007)

Searching for Sugar Man (2012) When he showed up, my jaw dropped. A profoundly sequential revelation for original music founders and researchers.

They Shall Not Grow Old (2018) Director Peter Jackson resuscitates life into his dusty celluloid subjects, and these heroic WWI British soldiers are made unfrozen, moving to the beat of today’s drum in color.

The Worst: Wastes of Life and Utter Insults

In the spirit of my favorite movie critic, Roger Ebert (RIP), I HATED, HATED, HATED these atrocities and regret losing some hours of my life to them:

August Rush (2007) Not even an adult who still believes in Santa Claus can suspend disbelief this much.

The Dictator (2012) I lasted 25 minutes and then walked out of the theatre—something I rarely do.

Filth (2013) The title says it all.

Freddy Got Fingered (2001) The bottom of the barrel, right, Mr. Ebert?

The Gift (2000) Everything you logically conceived is out the window because Cate had another vision. It Was All A Dream.

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2009) There is no such thing as shock “value.”

Joe Dirt (2001) Preston? Remember that day?

The Pink Panther (2006) Steve Martin, I love you, but this was so bad, I recall getting nauseous.

The Transformers Franchise: CGI exploited to the point of braincell singe.

The Village (2004) Yeah, we are to believe Adrien Brody’s character will—for some unknown reason—rip through the floorboards with his bare hands, find the costume of doom, and put it on to be the movie’s secret monster. Meanwhile, M. Night Shyamalan makes sure to play a character who conveniently explains why airplanes don’t fly over the custom-built Amish community where people speak as if they need Metamucil. A laughable, insulting attempt at happenstance from someone who sold out after selling some “signs.”

Now, it’s your turn to agree and totally disagree! Stay tuned for my final 25 faves…

Thank you for reading,

Reely Bernie