Dedicated to movie nerdom, nostalgia, and escape. In the late 90s, I worked at Blockbuster Video where they let me take home two free movies a day. I caught up on the classics and reviewed theatrical releases for Denver 'burbs newspapers and magazines. Today, while raising two young, beautiful daughters with my amazing wife, I look forward to anything rated R and not Bluey. Comments and dialogue encouraged!
There is a disarming tenderness inside the miserable monster Al Pacino creates in Scent of a Woman. Lt. Colonel Frank Slade elevates bitterness into a kind of sport. He yells, he scolds, he repels—he’s the human equivalent of a “Do Not Touch” sign with legs. And yet, maddeningly, you still want to hug him. Maybe... Continue Reading →
I’m late to the party with this one, but in hindsight, staying home would’ve been the better choice. Longlegs offers little beyond a thin plot: a young, inexperienced female FBI agent—clearly echoing Silence of the Lambs—is on the trail of a bizarre serial killer. That’s the whole premise. If you took every horror gimmick imaginable—serial killers, possessed... Continue Reading →
More a charming nod to nostalgia than an outright comedy, and more horror than spoof, Arachnophobia still manages to sink its fangs into enough entertainment value to work 35 years later. Gosh. Thirty-five years. I first saw this mild screamer at the now-gone Southbridge 8 Theatres in Littleton, Colorado—the same year I saw Edward Scissorhands. Those were innocent... Continue Reading →
To fully appreciate the found footage trope and the intrigue of media fakery, Ghostwatch is essential viewing. There’s a charming innocence to its “live TV special” premise, set in a claustrophobic, purple-carpeted British flat and driven by sincere performances that help sell the illusion. Michael Parkinson deserves particular praise for portraying a convincing host whose... Continue Reading →
One Battle After Another is a daring genre-bender — unmarketable by Hollywood standards — that demands to be seen in theaters for its subtle audacity and monstrous vision. That vision is Paul Thomas Anderson’s, and he has outdone himself again. Magnolia was a chapter in my life. That film cracked something open in me back in 1999 — a... Continue Reading →
I can’t think of a roller coaster or haunted house attraction that made me gulp, laugh, and scream more than watching Weapons in the theater. The horror trope has broken wide open this year, and it is a shame more than half the country would rather go on the merry-go-round. Starting with the grim premise... Continue Reading →
From the 80s to the 2020s, there is always a time and need for imbecile slapstick. Brainless to offensive, the gags levitate the belly to chuckles we once released as children. My dad raised me on Airplane! and Naked Gun, so who better to watch this reboot than with him. “Reboot” might be this relentless... Continue Reading →
If Ari Aster made a better second half to Midsommar, his take on toxic codependency would top them all. Unfortunately, his setup for relational imprisonment fell not just for gimmick but worse—pretentiousness. The cinematic potential for unhealthy emotional reliance is uncanny. Did you ever see Barfly, Fatal Attraction, or Blue Valentine? Funny. Frightening. Funereal. Add a body horror component to the... Continue Reading →
Brad Pitt swoons and the cars go fast, but the entertainment value runs out of gas at the 156-minute finish line. As per mind-numbingly usual, Hollywood takes a user-friendly summer blockbuster formula and bloats it. The washed-up-veteran-mentoring-the-cocky-rookie story works well on the racetrack, and actors Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Damson Idris divvy the testosterone respectfully.... Continue Reading →
No matter how much this live-action interpretation tries to appeal to grownup sensibility and kiddos who adore fuzzy creatures, there is a visual and emotional discrepancy between the human acting and CGI-renderings. You simply can’t have it both ways. Where six-year-old Maia Kealoha melts our hearts with a touching performance of Lilo in need of... Continue Reading →
Filmmaker Paul Schrader is renowned for taking us to the dingiest of places and introducing us to the gloomiest of people. By vicariously walking in the shoes of the taxi driver, raging middleweight boxer, and LA gigolo, we are challenged to sympathize with these pitiful characters. If anything, they are all seeking salvation. Because they... Continue Reading →
There’s not much out there right now, and I normally reserve horror flicks for October, but I had to see this rebooted Wolf Man for one reason and one reason only: Leigh Whannell. This is the director who pleasantly shocked me with another reboot in The Invisible Man in 2020. Whannell has a knack for... Continue Reading →
This year, I reached a wonderful point in my life when my daughters’ tutu dance parties in the family room and a few more visits to the gym superseded the necessity to write about movies. I’m good with this. I’m a firm believer in a life that evolves. If anything, time to simply watch a... Continue Reading →
A Christmas movie may include anything from Jesus Christ’s birth to family dysfunction around the dinner table. It can involve the magic of time travel and flying reindeer, or the lack of magic when life is lonely. Either way, the Christmas movie absolutely has to involve these two things: it has to take place during... Continue Reading →
As a native Coloradan, the smell of chlorine-infused sopapillas and sight of gorilla-trodden, orange-tiled floors are ingrained in my nostalgic brain. Casa Bonita was the most shameless, self-proclaimed spectacle in Denver, and the bad food was the beloved affirmation. My parents surprised my brothers and I with a limo ride to the pink wonder when... Continue Reading →
I certainly had more favorite movies to choose from this year than last. I'm not sure if you will agree with me, but the quality, diversity, and creativity went up a level in 2023. Still, I’m well aware of a current transformation I’m experiencing as the eccentric, polemic indies I once adored now annoy me,... Continue Reading →
“But it’s good. It’s my life.” -Becky (Juliette Lewis) from What's Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) It’s good. It’s my list. It was an absolute joy reflecting on 50 formative movie favorites of mine, recalling who I saw them with, and realizing how much the 1980s complete me (fourteen titles from that whacky decade made my... Continue Reading →
I cherish my memory of seeing Amadeus (1984) for the first time with my dad when I was in the 6th grade. He would imitate Tom Hulce’s shriek of a laugh as I quickly put the second VHS tape in the VCR to continue watching the madness of a musical genius fall just as fast... Continue Reading →
The chronological journey goes like this: During the summer of 1999, I saw the teaser trailer to Magnolia at the Movie Tavern in Aurora, CO. This was the shorter, ambiguous trailer that featured a woman shooting a stray warning bullet through the apartment window, only to coincidentally hit a body that was falling past the... Continue Reading →
I am only 5 years old, running aimlessly around the neighborhood cul de sac like any 5-year-old would do. “Poltergeist is playing, Poltergeist is playing!” yells “Deedoo,” my next-door neighbor who is one year younger than me. I have no idea what “Poltergeist” is. Is it a TV show maybe having something to do with... Continue Reading →
In my lifetime as a Gen Xer, there are movies before Pulp Fiction, and there are movies after Pulp Fiction. I've always considered 1994 the year my passion for movie analysis began, and it’s all because of Pulp Fiction. There is no doubt Quentin Tarantino belongs to the Greatest American Film Directors Club, and Scorsese,... Continue Reading →
“I have you scheduled for 6pm. What name should I put it under?” "Bernie, like in Weekend at Bernie's." (Today, there is a 50/50 chance the person on the other line knows what I’m talking about. If they do, they always say, “Oh, I love that movie!” If they don't, there's always a good awkward... Continue Reading →
"There has been too much violence, too much pain. None here are without sin, but I have an honorable compromise. Just walk away. Leave the pump, the oil, the gasoline, and the whole compound, and I spare your lives. Just walk away. I will give you safe passage in the wasteland. Just walk away, and... Continue Reading →
I thought that maybe after marrying a wonderful wife who was raised on Disney and having two beautiful daughters who watch Bluey, my guilty pleasure allure to the mob life in Scorsese’s Goodfellas would temper down a bit. I thought wrong. Even today, after Ray Liotta says, “I always wanted to be a gangster,” and... Continue Reading →
Before the corniness of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, teeny-boppers of Twilight, The Lost Boys of the ‘80s, sexy interviews with Tom and Brad, and the cliché of Dracula himself, there was an insufferable, disease-bearing beast that crept through the dark forests of the Carpathian Mountains. The Romanians of the late 19th century called him Nosferatu,... Continue Reading →
To me, no other movie portrays, captures, embraces, forgives, and, most importantly, empathizes a human being more than Ed Harris’s auteuristic gift in Pollock. I have seen the film from its birth in the theatre in 2000 up to 15 more times, and I am still in awe at how much it continues to be... Continue Reading →
Otis? Did you even read the book? Yes... no. Kicking and Screaming (1995) is a brainy indie flick from the 90s that places wit above rom-com and Gen X-subject chatter before semblance of plot. Calling it a “talky” François Truffaut-influenced study of yuppy slackerdom is fair, but dismissing the likability of each character isn’t humane.... Continue Reading →
Jaws (1975), Alien (1979), and Rosemary’s Baby (1968) are so mind-numbingly effective because we, the audience, never get to see the very thing causing the horror until the end. Our own minds do the wandering and second-guessing, and once the suspense reaches a breaking point—BAM!—you’re gonna need a bigger boat, the alien ends up having... Continue Reading →
With some of my favorite movies, I don't quite know what I'm watching when I first see them. I first saw Fargo in 1996 via HBO channel at a hotel with my parents while scoping out Gonzaga University for my future college. We laughed at Frances McDormand's “yah, you betchas” and cringed at pathetically nervous... Continue Reading →
There are the extraordinary off-screen credentials of Orson Welles as co-writer, producer, director, and star at the ripe age of 25. Then, there is the on-screen execution of cinematic artistry that trailblazed everything we use today: matte cutting, boom mic sound, mise en scène, chroma key layering, pristine cinematography, MacGuffin, flashback sequence, wide-angle/deep focus lenses,... Continue Reading →
I’m a sucker for the found footage horror genre. Yes, there were prototypes and hybrids before 1999, but the origin of the now exploited device started with a witch in the woods caught on tape. (Or, was she?) I was privileged to be in one of the first audiences for the premiere of The Blair... Continue Reading →
A message in a bottle from 1966 washed ashore to today’s comedic beat. Yes, Africa is noted as “primitive,” and social norms are run on 1960s glib, but there is viable respect here—respect for the beaches (which may be non-existent today), the indigenous people, and the ocean. This is a typical point-and-shoot documentary, but with... Continue Reading →
For me, Back to the Future (1985) is more innate than nostalgic. The audible memory recall is crystal clear: Hello? Hello? Anybody home? Huh? Are you telling me that you built a time machine... out of a DeLorean? Even the car horn and gas station dings that match the beat to "Mr. Sandman" upon Marty... Continue Reading →
What if the guise and artistic direction of a movie was entirely dependent on the face of its lead actress? Stripped down to its most minimalistic form, that is The Passion of Joan of Arc. And, with each long-held close-up of Renée Jeanne Falconetti's face as she portrays Joan in agony, you do not need... Continue Reading →
With the crisp coolness of fall in the air, I figured it was time to dig out my Goonies CD. (Not the amazing soundtrack with Cyndi Lauper, mind you, but the Dave Grusin film score.) Without a doubt, the “Fratelli Chase” scene is the most inspiring, uplifting film motif of my life. (You have heard... Continue Reading →
In one corner, you have the defending champion, Billy Mitchell, a restauranteur who sports a mullet so grotesque, the 80s feel shame. In the other corner, you have an out-of-work engineer, Steve Wiebe, who has likable underdog written all over his face. The competition? Nothing else but achieving the high score record for the 1981... Continue Reading →
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) perfected the adventure movie and broke new ground on the relic hunting culture we see on our screens today. Let’s face it: Without Raiders, there would be no Dora the Explorer, National Treasure, Nathan Drake, or even Animal Crossing! The hunt for the holy relic is in our blood,... Continue Reading →
When I was a little kid, my mom made it a tradition to watch movies with a blanket on the carpet near the coffee table to emulate a “picnic” setting in front of the tv screen. Today, as a new dad, I realize it was a brilliant, multi-purpose move for comfortable viewing and a simple... Continue Reading →
25 down, 25 to go. It has been an absolute joy reflecting on the formulative movies of my life and the people I saw them with. To be honest, I have found it impossible to keep my list from evolving as I gradually release it one movie at a time. There are just too many... Continue Reading →
If you could blend the macho machismo of Commando (1985) with the Austrian accented one-liners of Predator (1987) and dab on top the sci-fi action of Total Recall (1990), you’d get the amalgamation of Arnold Schwarzenegger and all the magical ingredients it took to create his role in the baddest movie sequel ever made. All... Continue Reading →
At first, all we see are blurred images and sporadic darkness. Then, we realize we are looking through the eye of a man who is coming out of a coma. We hear his thoughts, vaguely see the frantic doctors and nurses observing him, and realize that he (we) cannot speak. We cannot move. This first-person... Continue Reading →
No time like the present, man. I remember when my high school buddy asked me, "Do you want to see a movie where all they do is talk?" It was my sophomore year, and such a question intrigued me because I've always had an inclination toward minimalism in movies. With a fair share of campy... Continue Reading →
I remember the first time I saw a movie set in a place that was obviously not America. I was just a little tyke when my mom popped A Hard Day’s Night into the VCR, and I saw motor vehicles half the size of ours, policemen wearing big, black Bobby helmets, and a humble looking... Continue Reading →
I still remember seeing the trailer with my dad at the now gone Southbridge Theatre in Littleton, Colorado. A man with long, intimidating scissors for hands is welcomed into a neighborhood, falls in love with Winona Ryder, and tries not to slice the locals during the introductory handshake. After the preview, my dad was quick... Continue Reading →
Oh, what a big hug of a movie. I cry at the end every time as Randy Newman’s warm-hearted score also sobs in the background. Here is a dramedy portrayal of your typical (meaning: dysfunctional) American family that covers the gamut in household wins and losses: supportive marriage, anxiety disorder, love at first sight, premarital... Continue Reading →
If you run, the beast catches you; if you stay, the beast eats you. City of God is a jaw-dropping study of an entirely different category of violence than what we might see in a Scorsese or Tarantino film. Calling it gang violence is too soft; socio-economic violence, too safe. This is honor violence. And,... Continue Reading →
Never have I been so deep-seated in a journey through the shrapnel-infested bloodshed of war and my theatre chair at the same time. I blame it all on the camera work. As British soldiers Blake (Dean-Charles Chapman) and Schofield (George MacKay) deliver a message to higher authority to end an invasion against a retreating German... Continue Reading →
Reely Bernie 