Sunshine Blogger Award
Special thanks to Steve for the Deaf for nominating me for the Sunshine Blogger Award. Steve is a stellar music connoisseur with a proclivity for metal. I look to his blog for Ozzy, Aerosmith, and grunge nostalgia and lore. The Sunshine Blogger Award is always about connections, support, and brave ideas. Below are Steve’s Questions…
The Drama ****
Fair warning: this is one of those precious movies that works best going in without any pretense or information. There is a twist so perplexing, it would be impossible to not think and converse about it the next day and then the day after that. I thought I was going to loathe this thing, but…
Crime 101 **1/2
More like Heat 101 with Crash-like overlapping narratives and a heavy hand of clichés. What keeps it moving to the Elliot Goldenthal-wannabe score is the acting. Bag-of-rocks Chris Hemsworth is refreshingly multi-toned here, salt-and-peppered Mark Ruffalo is reliable as hell as the delusional detective, and Nick Nolte sleazes with his oily voice (until he randomly disappears in the…
Project Hail Mary ***
I might be the only person on the planet who wasn’t over the moon with this one. If you pull back, Project Hail Mary is recycled material orbiting space: the survival practically of The Martian, the high-stakes mission to save the sun (Sunshine), the visceral loneliness of Gravity, the E.T. factor, and the squeamish saccharine of Flight of the…
Memoria: A Masterpiece You’ll Never See
It’s more earthy—like a rumble from the core of the earth. It’s hard to imagine this quote comes from a film that intentionally aims to decelerate the viewer’s heartbeat. Only the most patient viewers will fully appreciate the value of its observation and its intent. Memoria is less a traditional film and more a sensory experience,…
Hoppers: Avatar with a Sense of Humor
In a way, Hoppers is everything James Cameron’s Avatar is not: it’s touching, funny, and you don’t have to suspend disbelief when you view the animation. Both movies involve a vicarious journey through an ecosystem full of environmental struggles, and both utilize CGI to interpret human consciousness in another world. And even though the two…
Today’s Movie Critic Is More About the Tomato than the Sauce
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position of authority over those who offer up their work — and their reputations — to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and even more fun to read. But the bitter truth…
Reely Bernie’s Top Ten of 2025
At least it wasn’t 2024. I know it’s all personal and subjective, and I’m sure I’m in the minority when I say this, but I thought last year was a drag for movies. I couldn’t even squeak out a Top Ten of 2024. This year? Much improved! In fact, I think we uncovered a few…
Reely Bernie’s Top 5 Worst Movies of 2025
Before I share my Top Ten of 2025, I thought it might be fun to dish out my least favorite experiences watching movies this year. Like the agonizing aches and fever of bedridden flu, bad movies do exist, and they can make you just as sick. You wonder what else you could have done with…
Frankenstein Defibrillates to No Avail
Commendably adapted or blasphemous to Mary Shelley, Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein is a movie — and a fair one at that. Skies hang ominously over a wet, bone-chilling landscape where the infamous creature doesn’t stop its rampage, as if It Follows dipped its toes into the 18th century. Del Toro’s obsession with flesh rekindles echoes of The Fly and Hellraiser,…
Scent of a Woman (1992): The Perfect Thanksgiving Movie
There is a disarming tenderness inside the miserable monster Al Pacino creates in Scent of a Woman. Lt. Colonel Frank Slade elevates bitterness into a kind of sport. He yells, he scolds, he repels—he’s the human equivalent of a “Do Not Touch” sign with legs. And yet, maddeningly, you still want to hug him. Maybe…
Reely Bernie Horror Fest: Longlegs (2024)
I’m late to the party with this one, but in hindsight, staying home would’ve been the better choice. Longlegs offers little beyond a thin plot: a young, inexperienced female FBI agent—clearly echoing Silence of the Lambs—is on the trail of a bizarre serial killer. That’s the whole premise. If you took every horror gimmick imaginable—serial killers, possessed…
Reely Bernie Horror Fest: Arachnophobia (1990)
More a charming nod to nostalgia than an outright comedy, and more horror than spoof, Arachnophobia still manages to sink its fangs into enough entertainment value to work 35 years later. Gosh. Thirty-five years. I first saw this mild screamer at the now-gone Southbridge 8 Theatres in Littleton, Colorado—the same year I saw Edward Scissorhands. Those were innocent…
Reely Bernie Horror Fest: Ghostwatch (1992)
To fully appreciate the found footage trope and the intrigue of media fakery, Ghostwatch is essential viewing. There’s a charming innocence to its “live TV special” premise, set in a claustrophobic, purple-carpeted British flat and driven by sincere performances that help sell the illusion. Michael Parkinson deserves particular praise for portraying a convincing host whose…
‘One Battle After Another’ Boldly Beats to Its Own Drum
One Battle After Another is a daring genre-bender — unmarketable by Hollywood standards — that demands to be seen in theaters for its subtle audacity and monstrous vision. That vision is Paul Thomas Anderson’s, and he has outdone himself again. Magnolia was a chapter in my life. That film cracked something open in me back in 1999 — a…
I Dare You to See ‘Weapons’
I can’t think of a roller coaster or haunted house attraction that made me gulp, laugh, and scream more than watching Weapons in the theater. The horror trope has broken wide open this year, and it is a shame more than half the country would rather go on the merry-go-round. Starting with the grim premise…
Naked Gun: Laughter in a Birthday Suit
From the 80s to the 2020s, there is always a time and need for imbecile slapstick. Brainless to offensive, the gags levitate the belly to chuckles we once released as children. My dad raised me on Airplane! and Naked Gun, so who better to watch this reboot than with him. “Reboot” might be this relentless…
Together: A Romantic Horror
If Ari Aster made a better second half to Midsommar, his take on toxic codependency would top them all. Unfortunately, his setup for relational imprisonment fell not just for gimmick but worse—pretentiousness. The cinematic potential for unhealthy emotional reliance is uncanny. Did you ever see Barfly, Fatal Attraction, or Blue Valentine? Funny. Frightening. Funereal. Add a body horror component to the…
F1 The Movie: A Thrillingly Long Ride
Brad Pitt swoons and the cars go fast, but the entertainment value runs out of gas at the 156-minute finish line. As per mind-numbingly usual, Hollywood takes a user-friendly summer blockbuster formula and bloats it. The washed-up-veteran-mentoring-the-cocky-rookie story works well on the racetrack, and actors Pitt, Javier Bardem, and Damson Idris divvy the testosterone respectfully.…
28 Years Later, Still Got It
Only Director Danny Boyle could resuscitate the “zombie”/infected trope with on-brand, Brit pop-accompanied flare. Blasting electronica to slo-mo shots of arrows piercing through ghastly, virus-ridden monsters, it’s as if the MTV music video married the modern video game. (It’s an added trivia perk that the whole thing was shot on an iPhone.) Yes, the Last of…
Reely Bernie Horror Fest: 28 Days Later
Origin/Director: UK, Spain/Danny Boyle Viewings Tally: This is my second viewing. I saw it in the theatre the year it came out. Synopsis: Twenty-eight days after a killer virus was accidentally unleashed from a British research facility, a small group of London survivors are caught in a desperate struggle to protect themselves from the infected.…
Lilo & Stitch Burps a Cash Grab
No matter how much this live-action interpretation tries to appeal to grownup sensibility and kiddos who adore fuzzy creatures, there is a visual and emotional discrepancy between the human acting and CGI-renderings. You simply can’t have it both ways. Where six-year-old Maia Kealoha melts our hearts with a touching performance of Lilo in need of…
Ranking the Mission: Impossible Series
You can make the argument that four of the 8-movie Mission: Impossible franchise are the best. What other 8-movie series can you say the same? After lighting the wick and cueing Lalo Schifrin’s infamous introductory theme, I recently viewed Mission: Impossible – The Final Reckoning and reranked my worst to best list to this tremendous…
Mary Poppins (1964) and Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
After dozens of viewings with my young daughters, I still come to the same conclusion: Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke are exceptional both in musicianship and laser point expression, the knack for lyrical metaphor is astounding, and the grownup sense of humor sneaks in seamlessly with the kiddo magic. The gigantic soundstage that envelops Cherry…
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