Reely Bernie Horror Fest: Double Feature!

Happy Halloween, good friends!

I want to thank Max at PowerPop for recommending It’s Alive (1974) and John at The Quick Flick Critic for recommending Prophecy (1979) as my final two horror movies to watch and review before the day of spooks vanishes into the night. It just so happens that both schlocky B movies are about the fears of childbirth, parenthood, and toxic waste. Film stocks are grainy, image overlays remind you of retro family pictures hung on brown wallpaper, the actors take themselves too seriously (I dare you to smile, Armand Assante), and the special effects entail red corn syrup and plastic prosthetics.

I asked for campy, and I got campy, and I mean that as a compliment. Where It’s Alive metaphorizes the common fear of having a baby to the fear of a mutant beast baby that goes on a killing rampage in the city, Prophecy just goes straight to the fear of Teddy Ruxpin from hell. Whether the cause of these monstrosities is an experimental drug gone bad or poisoned water, both movies make their case in an unintentionally humorous manner.

I appreciated the subtle Frankenstein allegory behind It’s Alive’s sympathetic conclusion. There aren’t many redeeming qualities in Prophecy, but the infamous “sleeping bag scene” is epic. I doubt any of you will see this thing, so I’ll explain it real quick: While a man is sleeping in a sleeping bag in the woods, the mutant beast attacks him, and the “special effects” include the throwing of a look-a-like doll in a mini bag at a bolder to watch a bunch of feathers fly in the air. It was so roughly done, it made me laugh out loud. I bet there’s a YouTube of it out there!

I should note that thirteen days ago on Oct. 18 at 8:12pm, I (unanticipatedly) delivered our baby daughter in the guest bathroom bathtub. From the moment my wife’s water broke to the arrival of the paramedics, the entire thriller sequence took 10 minutes. After just three pushes, my wife’s threshold for pain surpassed Philoctetes, and I caught a slimy baby amid the goo and the screams of two healthy but frightened ladies in my life. The adrenaline skyrocketed to shaky hands and hyperventilation. Carefully holding the baby and locking shocked eyes with my wife, I came to realize that God gifts us with survival instincts for a reason, and, sometimes, it is simply better to just act and not think. (Only, that night, we weren’t actors and actresses in a movie, and this wasn’t red corn syrup and plastic prosthetics.)

Manufactured in Hollywood or far too real, fear is a healthy thing. It keeps us alert when we need to be, it keeps us entertained when we put on a horror flick, and it keeps us in a place of gratitude when we count our blessings.

Here’s to a safe and fun Halloween evening! My toddler is going to be a deer, and our newborn will dress up as a lemon. How’s that for scary?!

Peace,

Reely Bernie

21 thoughts on “Reely Bernie Horror Fest: Double Feature!

Add yours

  1. Like I said the other day….congrats! That took a lot of courage but when you have to do something you have to. I would have been terrified dude but that is something no one can take away and what a story for your daughter!

    How did you like the intro to It’s Alive….it was simple and on a budget but I thought it was a cool idea….to have people in the dark with flashlights.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Max. It is a great story to tell, and we’re all grateful everything turned out okay.

      Loved the minimalistic approach with the flashlights! It took me a bit to figure it out, and I’ve gotta say that this is another example of how something tangible and NOT CGI messes with your imagination more, thus making the experience even creepier.

      Loved the frenetic acting too! Great rec!

      Hope you enjoyed your Halloween last night!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad it did also Bernie…that is something that you will never forget…oh your wife won’t either lol.
        I don’t know why it stuck with me…it just did…but it was such a cool idea with no money…and it was creepy. They showed the baby just enough…which is barely to be effective.
        We did…hope you had a good one

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Yeah, like we always say: The moment we see the shark, alien, or, in this case, BABY, the buildup expires, and the suspense dissipates. That’s why I thought it was genius that we never got to see the baby in Rosemary’s Baby. Can you just imagine what that little “beast” looked like?

          Best, Max!

          Like

  2. This is transcendent. Thanks for the shoutout, my flick take friend!

    Ah, the infamous sleeping bag scene. The damn thing actually broke in HALF! When witnessed for the first time the absurdity is so sudden that the laughter is both spontaneous and eruptive.

    Enjoy this Holiday of Horrors with your precious girls, RB. And dream of that day when, together, you will be rendered helpless howling with laughter at pretentious “Prophecy” props . ;]

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, John. I snuck in my horror views between baby naps. So worth every hilarious minute. I must say that “Prophesy” had its moments. The less it showed the beast, the more suspenseful it became, and that ending in the water left a spooky aftertaste. Oh, and what will that baby turn out to be! Haha! Great stuff. Have a safe and fun evening. Can’t wait to just walk around the neighborhood with my three gals and soak up some Halloween nostalgia 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Ha! Thank you for the crystal clear video clip of one of the funniest scenes in a horror movie! I’m learning that this is a cult fave flick (and, everyone mentions that darn sleeping bag). Enjoy your Halloween!

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: